I love traveling. Every time I experience something new, I feel a part of myself grow. For example, being in the Netherlands, every day I learn a new word or words in Dutch. I can sense myself becoming more and more fluent in other languages. It's a fantastic feeling.
It's not only languages that I've been learning, but politics and daily life things, too. I've learned a lot about the Dutch political system with their elections coming up next week. I've learned about different dinner foods and the times stores close. I find myself slowly accepting and embracing the culture around me.
The question is: Can you truly embrace something without letting go of something else?
Every week, day, hour, minute that I'm away from my home of 25 years (Yes 25. I'm old now.) I feel a part of myself distancing from that life. I try so hard to hold on to it. I leave messages to friends on Facebook, text, e-mail.. everything that I am capable of doing I try to do. But still, with every silly tweet or Facebook post, I feel myself drifting away from my friends' lives. Sure, my mom and I talk all the time, but even with my father. Every time I call him I feel more like a sympathy call than a sincere call.
Maybe other people don't have this problem. Maybe they go to Brazil or China or South Africa and come home to open arms and love. But for me, every time I come home I feel like I have to try so hard to fit back into my "normal" life. I feel awkward asking people to hang out, but then I feel worse when I'm not invited.
To be honest, I really think that by traveling I'm molding myself into some new person who is more independent, except when it comes to my boyfriend, that is. I try so hard to hold on to the past, but in the end, I just end up feeling like I don't belong.
So for me, I think that by spending so much time abroad, I've lost or changed myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I am more career-driven at the moment than I have been in about four years. I write almost every day. I work toward getting degrees and certifications. I apply to jobs that are careers rather than fillers. For the first time in a long time, I see myself going somewhere. I see myself achieving something. I see myself having a family, a house, a loving home.
What I'm saying is that we never know where life will take us. We can think a month in Europe will be just a fun vacation, and then when we come home, realize that every thing has changed. Just be ready for change, which is impossible, I know. I guess if I were more open to changing my life, the actual change wouldn't be so hard.
Be open to change because it happens when you least expect it.
xoxo
Sarah
It's not only languages that I've been learning, but politics and daily life things, too. I've learned a lot about the Dutch political system with their elections coming up next week. I've learned about different dinner foods and the times stores close. I find myself slowly accepting and embracing the culture around me.
The question is: Can you truly embrace something without letting go of something else?
Every week, day, hour, minute that I'm away from my home of 25 years (Yes 25. I'm old now.) I feel a part of myself distancing from that life. I try so hard to hold on to it. I leave messages to friends on Facebook, text, e-mail.. everything that I am capable of doing I try to do. But still, with every silly tweet or Facebook post, I feel myself drifting away from my friends' lives. Sure, my mom and I talk all the time, but even with my father. Every time I call him I feel more like a sympathy call than a sincere call.
Maybe other people don't have this problem. Maybe they go to Brazil or China or South Africa and come home to open arms and love. But for me, every time I come home I feel like I have to try so hard to fit back into my "normal" life. I feel awkward asking people to hang out, but then I feel worse when I'm not invited.
To be honest, I really think that by traveling I'm molding myself into some new person who is more independent, except when it comes to my boyfriend, that is. I try so hard to hold on to the past, but in the end, I just end up feeling like I don't belong.
So for me, I think that by spending so much time abroad, I've lost or changed myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I am more career-driven at the moment than I have been in about four years. I write almost every day. I work toward getting degrees and certifications. I apply to jobs that are careers rather than fillers. For the first time in a long time, I see myself going somewhere. I see myself achieving something. I see myself having a family, a house, a loving home.
What I'm saying is that we never know where life will take us. We can think a month in Europe will be just a fun vacation, and then when we come home, realize that every thing has changed. Just be ready for change, which is impossible, I know. I guess if I were more open to changing my life, the actual change wouldn't be so hard.
Be open to change because it happens when you least expect it.
xoxo
Sarah
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