The Past

Today I am taking a look at something that I shouldn't: The Past.

The past is a funny thing. We're supposed to remember old events, friendships, jobs and learn from them. I mean, there's that saying about how if you don't study the past you're doomed to repeat it.

But I'm here to say sometimes, the past needs to be torched with liquid nitrogen then dropped off the Empire State Building.

There are some past events that are cancerous. They can eat away at you. Consume you. Turn you into a bitter, vengeful person. It's these past events that, after contemplation, need to be sent through the proverbial shredder.

Only remember the moral to the story, not the story itself.

Here's my example of a cancerous past experience. All names and events have been changed in order to protect the horrible and wonderful people in my tale.

There were two young adults, Mary and Jane. Mary was a stay at home person who had no sense of future or direction, while Jane was a stay at other people's homes, in their beds, kind of person. One holiday, Mary and Jane took something that Mary was keeping for me, and destroyed it, wasting about $60 of merchandise.

This upset me.

I tired to keep my emotions on check, but I couldn't let it go. Especially since the merchandise was from my father. I asked Mary and Jane to pay me back.

They both ignored me.

So I ignored them.

Side note: Jane had been engaged to Rick at this time. They had been engaged for a while. Things were rocky, so Jane decided to sleep with a fellow employee who was considerably older and married with children. She also took the virginity of a young adult named Carl while doing laundry at her fiancee's grandmother's house. She is now engaged to Carl.

Mary never wanted to better herself. I took her to job fairs, looked up schools for her, tried to get her to work out. She just wasn't motivated.

These were contributing factors in my decision to cut ties. Both people had a very bad personality mixed with an awful sort of presence that made me spout gossip and general crap about other people. To be honest, I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. No more hearing Mary's mom's snide remarks to me. No more hearing Jane's sexapades.  I was free.

So I went on for about 8 months never thinking about them. Just living my life. Writing. Being with my boyfriend. Traveling to foreign countries. When I come across a link of Jane's. She is now selling my good friend Charles' art ideas as her own.

I again tried to ignore. I tried so hard. But I failed. I posted a link to Charles' photos of his art saying that stealing is wrong. I was called crazy by Jane. She posted things on the internet about how she can sleep well tonight knowing she never did me wrong.

Lies. So many lies. Stealing from me and my friend. Being a cheat to your fiancee. So many lies...

Well, now that the fallout is over, it's time for me to think about what I've learned. I have learned that once a liar, always a liar. Once a cheat, always a cheat. I learned that ugliness inside a person is far worse than on the outside, but most of all I've learned that the past needs to stay in the past.

I don't feel better after calling Jane out. I feel kind of worse. I feel like I just want to give her what she deserves, but I know for a fact that I can't. It's not in my hands. I cannot play a god. I have to let energy and karma takes its toll.

My message to all of you is this: eff the past.

Don't do what I did. Don't dig up past battles, even if you're trying to help a friend. Leave the past behind. Let it decay. You can't change it anymore than you can change the ugliness in someone's heart. Leave it in the hands of those more capable.

I promise you'll be happier.

I promise.

xoxo
Sarah